It seems I'm quite conscious of my own desire not to let a full calendar month go by without coming back to post here. I kind of like that. Perseverance? Good habits? One way or another, it seems like a positive thing. I work tomorrow, and it is becoming very late. I will get less than six hours of sleep. But I'm okay with that. I'm not worried, even though my scheduled shift is longer than most. It took a while, but I've become quite comfortable with my work, and far less worried that I'm somehow not doing it well enough. My co-workers, by and large, seem to like me and consider me a good worker.
Tonight I went out walking, just to be walking, as I haven't for a while. Along the path just South of the river, a path that is fairly familiar to me, I wandered through banks of deep fog under a full moon, and felt as though I were wandering through myth, a marsh world of old Irish fairy tales. For a moment, a fallen leaf across my path looked like a giant slug. A skunk skittered across my path, and stopped, startled by the presence of this big creature, to look at me, and I think I heard it hiss, though perhaps it was the sound of it stomping against the pavement, before continuing on.
The fog was beautiful... And oddly, I felt no particular need for it to feel unnatural or magical. The whole matter was evocative but felt very down to earth. Happy, peaceful... My life has become like this. Though I am restless, and worry from time to time about when and whether I will end up doing more with my artistic and idealistic ambitions, I am content with my life right now. I work easy hours for low pay, doing something I enjoy with people I have developed a fond working familiarity with, for the most part. I can afford to live simply with a few luxuries, and my life has been such that I can very much appreciate what I have. Bunny boy and I are planning to move into a classy apartment together come this October, which will be no more expensive than our current separate living arrangements, but I have little doubt it will be much richer. He has said that he has a hard time imagining anything short of sudden, tragic death ending our new, flourishing relationship, despite the fact that it has had its own challenges and bumps. This is only one of many marks of the goodness of this match. Even my relations with Pup are not as stressful, if only because I feel I can accept how stressful they sometimes are, which puts me in a position of confidence and calm from which I am much better equipped to comfort him.
If I feel the urge to write again soon, you know I'll be in touch. Until then... Serenity.
