If I Were Not Afraid

(originally posted on FetLife on May 9, 2010)

I'd ask you for your time tonight,
to share with me in warm delight,
the lusts of touch and sound and sight,
if I were not afraid.

I'd tell you all I'd love to do;
to offer up, to take from you,
and ask to hear your fancies too,
if I were not afraid.

I'd come and knock upon your door,
I'd pull you down onto the floor,
and tell you that I must have more,
if I were not afraid.

I'd fly through life on silver wings,
and make of it a million things,
and voice the notes my passion sings,
if I were not afraid.

But oh, the fear, it fills me,
it haunts me to my core.
It taunts me and it kills the dreams
I'm most enlivened for.

I must admit it's also true,
that other times it shakes me through,
to think of things that I might do,
If I were not afraid.

That I might hurt, or I might kill,
that I might crush a weaker will;
For vengeance, whose blood might I spill,
if I were not afraid?

It may seem very strange to some,
how far I let my terrors run,
for fear of what I might become,
if I were not afraid.