FetLife: About Me

FetLife is a website for kinksters, fetishists, slaves and masters, virtually anyone who practices or would like to experience kink, BDSM, or any form of non-standard sexuality. It's a very, very social website, and if any of you are inclined to check it out, go right ahead. You only have your purported innocence to lose.

I am quite happy with the new write-up I put there today to reflect the changes in my attitude and intentions since  the last time I wrote my "About Me" bio. So, if you are brave enough, read on for a little more insight into my mind and the way I think.

It's time for change. 

I have just started a workout habit that hopefully will last. I am not yet in London, but that's where I'm headed next. 

I want to change my hair, add a new name to my standard collection, learn, develop, and keep going. 

I could probably be described as "vanilla with a hint of kink" - I'm not all that active, haven't really spent much time with anything traditionally BDSM. Some of the 'interests' I do have are taboo and strange. If you get to know me, you might learn of them. 

Generally speaking, I am not in a position in which I feel safe giving up control and I am not comfortable doing to other people this same thing which would feel terrifying and abusive to me. 

Sometimes pain (like hard fingernails raked hard down the back) can be relaxing in its discomfort, like a reminder of mortality, of the limits of the self, what I am and what I am not... and like a slap in the face that returns one to a larger perspective. Sometimes just embracing the physicality of the body and its experiences is reassuring in a way. 

Sometimes... we are animals born to fuck, born to fight, to gorge, to hurt, to be ashamed and vulnerable and get back up and keep living, at war and at peace with our animalism, and proud of the beauty of our individual identities. Anyone who misses this point, is, deluded. Period. 

We are complete with our scars... But it is better to slowly heal the scars than rip them open to scar again for pride's sake. 

I am gentle and ferocious, I change with the winds. I am tired and bitter, and always trying hard to find evidence of people and things that will somehow consistently fail to disappoint me. These things are few. 

I am angry and upset, often for no obvious reason beyond the background of the world and how fucking wrong it is about so many things... 

And yet... This world that we are living in now, may be the safest, the sanest, the most co-operative and peaceful, the best regulated and easiest to build on, that the world our Earth has ever been. 

Now... is that disappointing? Or is that inspiring? 

There is always music, even when it hurts to hear.
There is always beauty, even when there is also pain, misery, and death.
This is your life. You can ruin it or throw it away, or get it messy, if you want to.
And I can spend a few hours of mine from time to time encouraging you not to.
This is equally my right as your freedom is yours.
We are social creatures. We need each other.
We are not the machines that the Industrial Age tries to force us to be.
I sincerely look forward to a truly Post-Industrial Age.
It IS coming. Those who stand in the way of the future may stall it but cannot prevent it. They will move, or they will fall. 

This is who I am. Do you want some?